Bowls and Battles

I have always believed in the power of prayer. My body even normally reacts to prayer – without exaggerating, I flood with tears – whether I’m praying or I’m prayed for. I’m not saying that the intensity of the emotion is a manifestation of such power, but it has always been an effective means to connect with God – personally and powerfully.

Prayer, as many of us know, is a ministry for counseling, mentoring and blessing the people those in need. Yada yada. But it’s more than just that; it’s a weapon of mass destruction – quite realistically. It’s a powerful spiritual weapon that by faith lays hold of the “property in the enemy's clutches which rightfully belongs to God.”

I’ve observed that most of us have been lulled into the culture of passively assuming our victory over our enemy than aggressively applying it. Most young people, including myself, have settled for this defensive stance in the “fight for freedom.” Probably, because “radically preaching the Good News” as if we’re endorsing Christianity like a shampoo doesn’t work anymore or we’ve just become too comfortable and complacent. Just like what one writer, said, “God’s healing for wounded cities won’t come from quarantining ourselves away.” If we want our friends to be saved, then it won’t happen unless we just wait. Frankly, for months, I have been idle – not because I wasn’t doing anything for the Kingdom; but like many spiritually fat Christians, I was too focused on my own issues and my own struggles, that I’ve been only doing the minimum, delaying the calling God has birthed in me.

Maybe the “means” to fulfilling our calling varies. But I don’t think we were wired to be passive. 

I cannot stand watching the battle on the sidelines. I want to be part of it. Although the victory has already been won, it’s not without a fight. There cannot be a victory without a battle.”How can we claim the victory over the campuses, over our communities, our families if we’ll just wait for them to know Jesus and “be still and know He is God?” (Sometimes, we take God’s word in the wrong context, you know) How can we not be uneasy?

On Prayerwalking

Prayerwalking seems a somewhat superstitious and peculiar act. I used to think it was not a necessary thing to do regularly. Although, I have done it several times, it seemed kind of funny and foolish; I thought to myself maybe it was only “effective” during Joshua’s time. But as I read the stories and testimonies, I rediscovered that prayerwalking is actually a powerful act of prayer. Prayerwalking is praying on-site with His sight.

More than a prophetic act, prayerwalking especially around our campuses means we’re symbolically claiming that, “this is Yours Lord! We claim freedom! We claim victory over the lives of the students, the professors, etc.” It’s like we’re saying, “satan! You shall not pass!” (Imagine Gandalf saying that haha!) Prayer is then, frontline spiritual warfare.

We should step out from a defensive, fortress mentality and come physically near to the people whom we know God longs to redeem. According to Edith Schaeffer, “There is a deafness, a blindness, an insensitivity among many Christians, for they refuse to recognize the war in which they are involved. They are letting the enemy attack and score victories without resistance.“ Nehemiah was not content to remain separated from the burden God had placed on his heart. And this is the attitude of a man of prayer – not content to remain detached from the focal point of prayer.

God never wastes a burden. When He lays a burden on one’s heart for a campus, for a student, a faculty member or a situation, that burden will become a source of perseverance to complete the task and see it through to its conclusion. Although I may not be able to see clearly how and when the burden will become a reality, I just choose to cling on to His promise.

Burden can give birth to prayer, that may give birth to a strategy, that sets the stage for ultimate deliverance and victory.

That Guy-Girl Thing

I'm no expert on relationships, really. Hell yeah. (I hereby admit that I belong to the NBSB club). Yep, I am one of the "never-had-been."  But let me just express some of my thoughts on the matter. I might probably know a bit of it - not solely based on experience though, but some out of wisdom ;) So bear with me on this one.

Courtship, dating, marriage and concepts related to these have been twisted and evolved into different forms. And of course, as we become more exposed to varying influences - school, family, peers, church, etc., well, inevitably, we hear (and often adhere) to their varying principles. 

So for the sake of "validity," "reliability" and "relevance," let me share my brain-farts on courtship. 

Courtship came from the French word "corteare" which means to pay homage. Interesting, eh? From this, we get the word "courteous" which we often define as the "proper" attitude shown either towards the elderly or in a formal gathering. 

Regardless of gender, I think we'd all agree that there is no universal standard on how to court a girl (okay, wait, a woman). It actually depends on which culture you belong to (or you'd like to adapt to). Months ago, I was reading Persuasion by Jane Austen (I'm not into mush lit, to be frank) and it just depicted how rigid the "courtship rules" were during that time in Britain. Why, you may ask? Because the guy wants to pursue the woman whom he wants to marry. During the Victorian Era in UK (I couldn't remember what year exactly though), it was difficult for men and women to talk; a "formal introduction" was a necessity. Once introduced, the guy gives a "romantic cheezy card" to the woman he's interested in. She will, then, decide which card "wins her heart." Not only that, all the courting happens in the house of the woman (see how I'm emphasizing the woman and not a girl *wink*), habang nakabantay ang mga magulang. 

In the Philippines, if you've seen old films or read history which I doubt, we actually have our own style of courting too. Harana. Torpedo (torpe in short). Tulay. Maria Clara. Ligaw. Pamamanhikan. Etc. We know all that. The guy "proves" himself to both the woman and her parents. He'll reach for the stars and swim the ocean. (Ugh. Hyberbole. How I've always hated exaggerating :)) ) But in our culture, notice the significant influence of the family in courtship. From courtship to marriage, the guidance and counsel of the parents through time have always been important (well I'd have to say, in general, yes). Another *wink*

So I won't try to make this sound pretty, I'll just say these head-on. 

If you're currently courting/ planning to court soon or in the future (if not, then close the tab now and read this when you're ready), know that there's a right time to pursue. 

Ever rode the MRT? Even if you arrived early, you'd still have to wait for the next train. The famous "everything is made perfect in God's time," I believe is still true today, despite the post-modern culture's urge for fast-paced lifestyles and wants. If you already have a "prospect," well, try to discern the climate - both your and her priorities, feelings, etc. Timing is everything, they say. 

So don't say anything 'til you are ready to really "win her heart." Don't put a "reserved" label on her. That is not fair at all. 

Second, pursue her out of right motives. 

I just find it foolish if a guy pursues a girl because of social pressure. Probably, because of the "machismo" stigma - "maybe if I have a girlfriend, or if I get her to like me, maybe I really am a 'man.'" The teasing of the barkada actually is a significant factor, I noticed. For example, the concept of "reto." Natukso lang, tinuluyan na. "Jon and Ana sitting on the tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g---"  Go, court, if your serious with both your plans and with what you feel. But think before you initiate. The heart of the woman is precious to God so be careful not to toy with her emotions. 'Cause if you start making a move, it is inevitable for her to expect from you. And eventually, when she says yes, that's a real "yes," it ain't a game, dearie. 

Third, carefully examine her character (and not just her curves).

Hanging around with my guy friends helped me observe that men are indeed visual creatures. They notice the curves, how her nape looks like, etc. And often, we tend to get caught up with the physical than the "real." Although I'm not saying that women should be dressed up in turtleneck and floor-length skirts. We women are ought to display beauty, I mean, that's our nature. But more than the physical, real men are captivated by the beauty inside. Don't be deceived by her charm. See her for who she really is. And then decide.

If you really are serious in your pursuit, then court her family first before you step up to your game. Know whom she values, how they care for her, etc. Love whom she loves. Don't just try to impress them; respect them. Honor them. It'll show that your intentions are clear and pure. Tip? Court her in her home. 

All these I'm sure will be beneficial for you when you'll have a family of your own (I mean, that's if you think that ahead). 

Men, be a sincere, genuine gentleman. 

Personally, I cannot stand fakes. Pretensions always have expiration dates, you know. For an incredibly sensitive person like myself, I naturally sense the sincerity of one's words or actions. And often one knows if a person is sincere or not, well, unless you're really thick-headed. Of course, it's a normal action for a guy to "impress." But impress because you want to know her and for her to know the real you. Show them who you really are - with warts, pimples and all. Show her your real intentions. It's difficult to keep up with a mask. I've tried it for years; it almost warped me (and well, my relationships [not romantic] too). Most relationships are destroyed because of the "chameleon mechanism." So stop hiding. Just be you, bro.

Oh and one more, be man enough to stand by what you say. Don't just impress with poetry, flowery and beautifully-tailored words, or serenade with a soulful tune. Mean what you say. It'll show anyway ;) 

If you really love her, you'll fight for her. Like what they always say, "kapag walang tiyaga, walang nilaga." She was created to be pursued. And you were wired to fight for your Beauty. So if all is settled in your heart and you know that you're ready, then go, fight. And never ask the question, "may pag-asa ba ako?" Don't you think the reason why you're courting her is because you want to increase the chance for her to love you back? Right? So until she tells you to stop, keep fighting. You gotta take the risk. Be not afraid, bro. But know if it's worth the fight. 

Every woman is worth fighting for. You just gotta choose wisely.

Let God orchestrate. He has your world in His hands.

But if you really want to fight for her, prove it. 

(to be continued)

Teatro Weekend Treat!

Now, I’m starting to think why I didn’t take Theater Arts. (Well, I’m still in 3^rd year? I can… Okay, stop. I don’t want to get there. Hehe)

 In high school, actually, I built up a career as a director and screenplay writer. My batch branded me as “the 3-2-1 action” girl. I was always asked to direct or write the script or produce a play –from 1^st year to 4^th year. Seriously. I still don’t understand why I never refused. Maybe peer pressure. Maybe.

But going back further, I think I've always been fascinated with theaters and stages. In kindergarten, we had this big play (it is huge for a 4 yr old okay), I wanted to be Snow White but my teacher insisted that I fit the role of Snow White’s mother better ‘cause it was a more “emotional” role (I still don’t understand ‘till now how she can be emotional though. Hahaha.) Maybe I didn't fit ‘cause I wasn't as slim and as pretty as Snow White. But whatever, I never liked that high-pitched princess anyway. Haha! (I've always wanted to be the tough princess since I was a kid, by the way). Don’t worry, I’m not ranting about my insecurities. I’m past that stage. Haha! Well, pretty much, that was my first exposure of being in a play.

My kindergarten teacher was certainly a bit “picky” yet she was one of the full-pledged “dreamers” I've ever known. Since “Snow White,” she always shared us stories of adventures of real-life heroes, princesses and knights, mysterious creatures and talking animals, objects that fly, etc. We even had a storytelling on stage. I was one of the few chosen storytellers. Since then, I never lost that “sense” of wonder, especially with stories and tales and well, the theater.

I give much credit to my teacher then.

Theater, I think, will always be the most powerful (and most expensive) medium. You experience the story, the people, the message first-hand.  Not TV. Not radio. Not the Internet.

To see the character cry and laugh 3 ft away from you cultivates a different intensity of emotion and mind processing than watching on TV (maybe edited or live; it’s near.. yet so far HAHA). But you get what I mean?

Experiencing reality in its rawness is more engaging, don’t you think?

Last Thursday, I watched a Dulaang UP play entiled "The Seagull/Ang Tagak" which was a comedy in three acts. It was... just okay. Full of unrequited love. Satire. And sarcasm. But it wasn't startling. Or maybe my standards are just too high (always too high hahaha if you know what I mean).

I just watched The King and I tonight with my cousin, sister and my grandfather. I still can’t believe he treated us to something as costly as this. But anyway, I am grateful for his effort to nurture a sense of history, art and learning in his grandchildren. That is truly noble.

Unexpected. Really unexpected. I found out weeks ago that it was a full-house Filipino production. I didn't know we could pull off something like that. So indeed, bravo!

From the acting to the performances to the music to the props to the stage design to the startling electronic elephants walking around the stage, it was perfectly executed!

I've seen the film several times already. So even if I knew about the story, my eyes were still glued on every scene, thrilled to see what’s next.

But that’s only a starter.

Wait ‘til you see The Phantom of the Opera.

The Ancient Call

*This was written on Independence Day, in remembrance of freedom and "purpose." I accidentally saved it in my drafts and did not know that I haven't posted this til today. So here it goes.

"Ang kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan."

And I see you grit your teeth and roll your eyes. 

The youth has always been believed to possess a grand calling. In both spiritual and secular dimensions, we have always been considered vital and purposeful (yet looked-down-upon at the same time, okay I'm not going there)

But we are the chosen generation. The Generation Y. The Internet-savvy. The next leaders of the country. The fierce, faceless, blameless army of God. The forerunners. The history-makers. The IT generation. 

Yeah, yeah. We've heard that before. Preached in several services. Prophesied a million times. And maybe we've stopped hoping. Or begin doubting. Or tell themselves maybe it's going to happen, just not in our time. 

Behold, cynicism. And we can talk about numerous causes and symptoms of this disease. Rationalism. Legalism. Burn-out. Worldly-contamination. Discontent. Disappointment. You name it.

But it has been lurking in our society. Cunningly stealing the hope. The "idealism." The vision. 

Before we know it, our insides stop functioning and death is our destiny.

Apathy becomes the trend.

I and an old friend of mine were talking about this recently, realizing that many of us have fallen into this pattern - a radical-turned-apathetic God-fanatic.

But despite pessimism, the countless efforts of forgetting and unfortunate circumstances such as loss and desire and dream funerals, the vision still burns within. (It's a good thing to know, though, that I'm not alone, there are several of us that is -- two is comforting). Or if I'm the only left standing and fighting, I will not stop hoping. 

Weariness, failure, pain, distraction, I can guarantee. But He's going to fight with me. He always has anyway.  

We may have been complacent or stuck somewhere I don't know. But we have to soldier on. We have to believe again.

They say the youth era is the "Golden Age" of one's life. So let's make it worthwhile. I don't wanna waste any of it. I don't wanna be left behind. I don't want to be named a bystander in tomorrow's history.

We have been passive long enough.

I remember asking my Law professor, how can the "freedom of speech" be actualized and assured? He said, "if you constantly claim that you possess it - constant, meaning every day."

A vision can only be alive if you water it with enough H20 (sometimes it can be too salty but whatever). It has to be nurtured.

Every day we need to claim that we do have a calling as a people. And it has always been the same. It is that powerful that no matter how hard you try to forget, it is engraved within. It is sealed in us.

We have an irreplaceable role in His Kingdom. And not death or life or the devil could take that away. The enemy can deceive us however. But God has set eternity in our hearts. It is written. This is the chosen generation. And this is the generation that will prepare the way of the Lord. We have always been.

I have never stopped believing for those who sought and ran with this "vision". Along with those that are yet to be enlisted in this army.


And I hope to see them again soon and watch new faces battle in this bloody field of ours.

As for myself, I'm getting my dogtag again. It's not fake. It's not tarnished. But it's blood-stained. And has only one name and one syllable on it. His.  


Suit up. Gear up. We got a land to conquer.

O God let us be the generation that seeks
That seeks Your face
Oh God of Jacob

Give us the strength to fight again.

The Four Letter Word

I'm not really sure what to write about so let's see where my mind will take me (and you as well, my dear sojourner)

Love.

An abstract, intangible idea. Poets, philosophers, psychologists, scientists, theologians and love-struck teenagers have tried to come up with a grand explanation to this four letter-word. To identify each claim will only be a waste of effort.

Now just to be clear, although I hate sounding defensive, I ain't gonna talk about romantic love or Cupid or boy-crushes. Besides, aren't you fed up with all that shizzles? With media and society bombarding us with telenovelas and cheap love and... I'll stop myself  'cause it'll take another entry to talk about this.

Has "love" become that complex that we don't even know what our genuine response is? Or have we tainted it with so much meaning that it has become as messy as postmodern art - an abstract painting?

Apparently, when we think/talk about God's love, it still appears to be... complex. Or should it be? Well, the songs and the verses tell us it is incomprehensible. But is it? Is it because His is so great that none can fathom it? Does that mean, however, that we cannot experience His love to the fullest measure?

Maybe we cannot fully grasp it and I guess that's what love does, you know. It allows room for never-ending exploration. For mystery. For wonder. That maybe we can never understand it to His understanding And that's not necessarily wrong.

Maybe.. it's beyond logic. But does not reject logic. Maybe it's giving room for faith. For a 40 ft free-fall jump. But of course, we all know that.

Whether Christian, Catholic, Muslim or Agnostic, we have all heard about the famous illustration of His love - the cross. And that is precisely the reason. He died to bring life. Not for Himself. But for us.

And admit it, after hearing it from the pulpit from the 1556400th time, it wears us out. Overchurched brothers and sisters say Amen. And that's where the question really lies: how can we really say that we have encountered His love? Is it because we simply know it? Or we have just decided to believe that He loves us? But how do we believe? Is it a mind-conditioning ritual that all Christians are supposed to do?

Or are we asking the wrong questions?

But His love exceeds understanding. Feeling. And even words. It is powerful. It is whole. It is.. dangerous.

And what I mean by that. It pushes oneself to his limits. Imagine a God jealous for man? How is it possible, right?

But He is. He loves us deeply. Passionately. Personally. It creeps me out (a good kind of fear, okay)

It is tasted. It is lived out. It is experienced. Genuinely. Powerfully. Wholly, without any glitch.

He loves us too much that He gave Himself wholly and gave us freedom to respond to His love freely.

Like any mortal, I am filthy despite the "Christian" label. Not because I do not live by the "Christian standard of doing Christianity." And often, I become suffocated by it and therefore miss out the truth about my being.

What then is the truth about our purpose? I don't think it's to earn star stamps and stickers.

It's to experience His love. Remain in it. And love Him back. It won't be difficult to love others then, would it not?

Maybe it's not that complex after all.

It wouldn't be if we just stop pretending and pouring empty love.

At least today, I choose to love You.

At least today, I do.

Re-wind

2012. It’s almost the end of the world. Riiiight.

It's the twelfth. day of the year and now we’re all back to our solitary and distressed student lives. But before we get on with our rumble jumble kaleidoscopic realms, I won’t be damned if I do a little flashback, am I?

I’ve been trying to re-run 2011 in my head but apparently, it’s difficult to come up with like a wrap-up-entry ‘cause a lot, I mean a looooot of things happened the past year (which is a good thing right?).

The Ram Revilla murder case, tsunami in Japan, Sendong, Rizal turning 150 yrs old, the KC and Piolo break-up, GMA getting arrested, and a whole lot of other trapos reaping the fruit of their labor, etc., etc., etc.

It has been one hell of a ride for everyJuan.

For me at least.

Eighteen.

Isn’t that noteworthy enough?

I guess it’s true what they say about a woman’s season of unveiling and broken spells. For some reason, it’s like something inside me just had to exude without knowing and without any guy factor (well, maybe at some level but you get what I’m driving at?).

This radiance I speak of is more than dressing up like a lady or getting a prettier face and what have her. Probably, underneath all the fears and scars, it’s just that little bit of light within her that is inevitably bared. Maybe a greater sense of self-worth, maybe beauty, maybe... freedom?

But seriously, in many ways, I was able to get more in touch with my femininity. SERIOUSLY :)) The season of suppressing and hiding and "manhating" is over. :)) Surprisingly :))

Maybe eighteen is indeed a eureka period or a milestone or whatever you wanna call it for many of us, ladies. Maybe.

A car. A condo-like dorm. Late-night hangouts. So adult-ish, isn't it? Of course, it makes you feel independent and all. But I guess that privilege of "freedom" involves a lot of matured thinking too. Although I was practically "on my own", I still had to learn my limitations too. I had to learn how to budget on my own. And go home early when I drive 'cause apparently, I still go home at my grandparents place on weekends.

Tell me about responsibility.

I give Spiderman much credit to that.

But I think one remarkable thing that I truly treasure the past year was being more close to my family than everrrr before. It's not even about just having dinner every week. But it's like, for some reason, we've gotten to know each other moooore and love each other more regardless of whatever past issues we had. And that's a big thing. For me at least.

Like my Dad, whom I did not grow up with, has been really (genuineeely) making it up to me and my sister. And that's a BIG THING. (At least for now.)

I could say it was a good year ‘cause I was able to be mooore, to see mooore, to love mooore and to live mooore.

So kudos 2011!

But I'm looking forward to 2012.

I believe it's gonna be an awe-zome year :)

Sunday I'm in Love

Because I am too lazy to finish my paper for CommRes, I shall blabber about my day.

Well, for one, it wasn’t my usual Sunday except I still had a hard time waking up at 6 in the morning just to get to church. :))

I finally got to catch up with my mentor after how many weeks. And what turned out to be a “chat” turned into something else. I wish I could tell you though but you know, there are some things kept in private. :P Seriously. I wasn’t expecting anything bizarre today. But I’m glad I did wake up at 6 in the morning. It was all worth it J

______________________________________________________

What is man that You are mindful of him?

This? We don’t deserve this. But He thinks of us. He values us. He delights in us. And that is more than enough.

______________________________________________________

After church, the girls and I met up with Dad and had lunch in BonChon. Oh please, if you haven’t tried it, you’re missing half of your life! It’s very affordable though for high-quality dishes. Their bulgogi rice and chops are a fave! The chap-chae’s good too but I’m not much of a fan of noodles so I don’t appreciate as much as others do (my sister specifically). I wanted to try something new, like their burger but Mom ordered already. Howel, I shall explore it the next time I visit J  

Of course, Sunday lunch won’t be complete without lavishing ourselves with coffee and gelato in Café Ti Amo. It’s a really cozy and laid-back coffee place but a lot of people go there too so sometimes it can get too crowded and noisy. Yeah. It means it’s that good J Oh and there’s free wi-fi too! My dad and my sister always order the waffle with ice cream (I’m not sure what it’s called – affogato ba?) and I tried it for the first time with the rich mouth-watering dark chocolate ice cream on top and man, it tastes like heaven! I was hoping there was peppermint chocolate (my second favorite flavor) though. There’s always a next Sunday anyway :P

My goodness. I haven’t overindulged for a looong time already. Haha! I must lose these chicken chops and pounds of gelato over the week! (Weh, 'di nga? Haha!)

We had a little walk around GB, and the girls bought Christmas CDs (I do not know why they still buy CDs when they can just ask me to download it on Torrent). Haha. Sayang pera.

And then we randomly decided to go play bowling (oh yez, imagine I was with adults 46 and above and my sister of course). Shocking right? Me, playing a sport? I used to think, is bowling even a sport? Haha. But hey ah, it’s hard to perform the proper approach and delivery of both the footwork and handwork. Aaaand besides, I have duckpin bowling for PE this sem, I don’t wanna look stupid you know. :))

My Lola used to be a professional bowler but she stopped 10 years ago. When I was little, I used to tag along and watch her compete. She was tad awesome. She tried one frame earlier (note, she wasn’t even wearing bowling shoes and is SEVENTY YEARS OLD and has a knee injury) and she was able to hit 9 pins. She is SEVENTY years old. SEVENTY. Nakakamangha lang masyado :))

In all fairness, my game was fair enough. I had two strikes, so I guess I’ll manage :)) Kamille (my sister) and I wanted this to be a regular Sunday thing – bowling instead of pigging out. :)) It’s healthier somehow, right?

We didn’t stay for long because my Lola had to go home early because she has another gimmick. Tell me about cool. :))

When we got home, the house started singing “Merry Christmas.” There was already a fresh pine tree decorated at our sala, with angels and silver balls everywhere. And I caught my cousin cooking turkey for dinner. For at least an hour, I felt like I was in America. :))

So apparently, we had a thanksgiving dinner, with turkey served of course. :) It’s sad though the family wasn’t complete today. But it’s fine. I had a great time with them anyway. :)

And I guess I’ve been really learning to enjoy my time with family and value each one of them, regardless… :))