Bare naked

I have learned that honesty is sometimes its own reward,

often the silent partner of peace,

the herald and chief supporter;

restrained only by fear.

Sadly I cannot say I am fearless.

More often I am a coward.

I don’t believe it is bravery that compels me now—I am just tired.

I am too tired to live one more moment with a fake smile on my face

that I do not feel in my heart.

Too tired to swallow another unkind word

without a simple, quiet, loving, “That hurt.”

I have just worked too hard on being honest,

struggled too long to overcome fear,

pressed too deep into my own soul for the truth of who I am,

to now project just an image—a façade of my real self.

I have known dishonesty

and I have been greatly dishonest.

I have covered, schemed and plotted over my sins.

I am now just tired.

I am too tired to play the game or hide.

This is me—honestly me—warts and all, sins and all.

This wall must and is coming down however slowly, however painfully.

Please, all I ask, is that you walk lightly

and watch your step.

You see, it has become apparent,

that an open heart wounds more easily.

And while my ambition is to be more boldly honestly who I am,

I am still only human.

 

Dear You

Dear Tipay,

I just want to let you know that I've been praying for you.

I have been asking God to give you His heart - a heart that is selfless, undignified and abandoned to real worship and real intimacy with Our King.

I pray that He would mold you to become a strong man - with a pure and brave heart and clear vision. I want you to seek Our King.

I pray that you prepare your heart as I prepare mine and as we fulfill our mission in this generation.

Oh, and it's okay to cry. I still love you nonetheless.

I pray that He will complete you. And reassure you that His love is all you need.

I pray that you become a real worshiper - one who is irrevocably in love with God.

I pray that He will show you what real love is.

I pray that your soul would thirst for God and your spirit would yearn for Him.

I pray that you become holy.

I pray that your past, your present and future will be surrendered to Jesus. May your dreams be laid down before His feet.

May you preach justice and righteousness.

May you be the light of this nation, of our generation.

May your life be a life of worship.

Even if you're my Jonathan, my helpmeet, my partner in the battlefield, I pray that you would have a heart like David - a man after God's own heart.

I speak forth victory over every battle that you will face.

May you seek to be like Jesus.

Dear you, I pray that your heart burns for God.

There's so much more that I want to pray for but I just want you to know that though I haven't met you, I love you with all my heart. And dear you, I promise you that I will fight with you, dream with you, laugh and cry with you. I will be here to protect you, back you up not just in times of need and will support you as we embark on our journey together.

And as early as now, I thank God for giving you to me.

I know we will both start a revolution.

I know we will.

I honor you.

I trust you.

And I will love you always.

Prepare your sword, love. And fix your armor.

See you soon in the battlefield.

With all love,
Mica
a.k.a. Mulan/Juliet/Arwen/Elizabeth/Mrs. Potato/Rose/Jasmine/Helen of Troy/Cinderella

First Day Hay

I just noticed I never wrote anything about my first day in school - both in La Salle and in UP.

Well, yeah. Today was the first day of my second semester in UP. And nothing really interesting occurred today. I actually missed out my first class (which is apparently PE boo me) because I had to bring my sister and cousin to school.

I have a Geography class which seems boring. My Journalism class, believe it or not, excites me because I will finally get to experience the real deal of being a MassComm student. I vowed to myself I will read the news everyday. Well I have to. Despite of having a perfectionist and over-the-top professor, I am looking forward to her class. Excited even. :) A lot of my friends say you can learn a lot from her. So, we'll see how it turns out. On the other, Math11 (which I thought was going to be the littlest of my struggles) turns out to be hell. Not that I don't like Math, I actually adore him in many ways. But the moment the professor got inside the room, she started teaching. I think she's too smart for my life. It seems Math11 will become a big hurdle. My Spanish class, I hope and I pray, is my chillax class. That would be awesome (if ever) because it's my last subject for the day and by that time, I will no longer have much energy to pay attention or participate in class. Plus, my professor seems nice even if she's already old.

My biggest problem is commuting from one class to another. I'm going to be uber stressed every Tuesday and Thursday. My schedule's too tight; I don't have enough time to go from Masscomm to Math and from Math to AS. Oh tell me about it.

Plus, I am forced to exercise everyday. I mean, everyday. My PE class requires us to practice jogging around the Acad Oval for 45 minutes in three rounds. Ghad, how can I do that with a body like this?

But oh well, at least I'm sure I will get thinner after this sem. HALLELUJAH! Yeah, you gotta rejoice with me okay.

I have to motivate myself to write down my random thoughts and analysis about stuff. I have to. I suppose it'll be helpful to broaden my intellect. Again, it's about time to exercise both my body and brain. ;) Here we go 2nd sem! I hope it'll be a good one!