Comastrokatose

Feasibility + Utangs + Retreat + Sabayang Pagbigkas + Fundraising + IDEA + Prom + El Fili Movie + Papyrus + Yearbook + Graduation + College Applications = DEAD.




Impossible.

On Tripping and Falling

8 am.

I checked the ACET 2009 Results.

I typed my full name in the database.

After sixty seconds.. there. Time stopped. For a minute, I couldn't believe what was right in front of me.


Sorry but the name you entered is not in the list.

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If your name does not appear on the screen, this means that you are neither accepted nor waitlisted.


Ateneo De Manila. My dream university. My dream; my dream is now just a dream.

I know that God has a better plan for me. But I honestly couldn't grasp that thought, that little hope of still believing, of hoping for the best, of what we all know - faith. I cannot help but ask why.

God, why? Why me? Why not Ateneo? Why didn't you grant my heart's desire? Why, God? Why did you let me fail? Again?! Hindi pa ba enough yung pagkatalo ko sa Student Council? I have grown! I learned so much! Why am I supposed to suffer again?

This is unfair.

You want me to trust You and see You as a Big God who can make things possible and yet You allowed me to fail. How could I possibly trust You and see things in Your eyes? How can I accept when I failed for the nth time?

I do not understand You. I want to believe You but I can't. I want to get up and continue fighting but I'm too tired. I am sick of all these crap.

Sigh.



Lord, amidst of all my doubts, my loss and my failures, I choose to lay everything at Your feet.

I cannot bear this.


I trust You.