For One Second

No, I won't vent out (I'll try not to) Just let me scatter my thoughts for a second, alright? And yes, I will try not to vent out. (I'm not absolutely sure if that's a wise thing to do)

Anyhow, I think that each and every human, female or male, straight or gay, is pretentious. I'm sure this is not a new idea that everyone will be crazy talking about. But I think no one is an open book, even if you say he talks a lot about his self and shares with you stories that are realistically accurate with his identity. I think we all unintentionally lie (although we do lie intentionally at times), apart from the fact that it's part of "human nature". I think it's because we all want to be different and we hear it as we grow up from our parents, teachers and grandmothers, "we;re all different." Hence, without knowing, (at times I am aware), we forcefully put a mask and pretend because we want to be different. Maybe for some they just want to be accepted, not wanting to get hurt. I've seen a lot of teens like me trying and showing who they're not. I have a friend who show-offs that she is boyish and mean, but she's not. She thinks to herself she's not organized and feminine, but she is. She tells us she doesn't like the ordinary, but she talks, sings and acts like an ordinary girl. There is no difference at all. I mean, I'm not saying I don't agree that we're all special and made unique, I'm sure we are. But then, we exaggerate how we define what being "unique" is. As a result, a paradox. We convince ourselves to be different, when in fact others do the same. Hence, commonality.

Skip.

I think that a trisemester program is ridiculous. I don't see how students benefit more than the Lasallian brothers. I do learn in La Salle (okay I should warn myself I'm starting to de-crap) but I think that's not enough because I (no not me, my mom) pays thousands of pesos just to give me the best education not the best facilities there is. So, I learn in La Salle are all from the books and I don't see how I can apply it in my career in the next five years. Oh wait, what's my career again? Exactly. Political science doesn't seem like political science to me. Pardon, it's too early to say that. Why am I blaming the university, in the first place? Okay, moving on. I just don't find it practical to pay 60,000 pesos for every semester plus missing summer vacation. And then you graduate early, too early to get a job. Thus, you become a professional bum. Ridiculous, right? So why am I in La Salle again? I'm sure I won't be able to answer that even if I transfer to UP. Cross-fingers. I hope I can transfer. I know, I know. Bias, bias.

Anyway, I have a lot of work to do. (See, I'm lying) No, I will sleep. I want to finish my work but I won't. (Yes, I can but I'm too lazy) So I'd rather dream about my future hu.. Screw it. There's no use of being a hopeless romantic. I'm such a wishful idiot. Okay, I said I'll stop.

Au revoir!

(Yey, I learned something from my French class! Congrats!)

Okay, seriously. Bye.

On Chocolates, Prom Stunts and High School

It has been almost a year since I graduated. Yes, it has been a year since I waved "sayonara" to high school. It is unbelievable though how fast things happened. I mean, I didn't even feel like I graduated. I remember, exactly a year before, I had to make a blog about prom and all that shiz. Prom stunts, prom asks, prom gowns, flowers, MUs, chocolates, after-prom parties, green tea frappes. They don't really matter, do they? Now from where I am standing, I don't really see the point of all these mush. I know, folks. You're going to tell me that it's an event where you get to be a Cinderella for one night. But hey, I'm not saying that it's bad or what. But I just don't see how relevant it is when you get to college, when you start to see how serious life is, you see, things just don't exactly appear the way you imagine it. You get chills when you're with your M.U. and fancy about him until you realize that you need to wake up. He is not what you think he is. You are not what you think you are. Because when you dream, you need to always wake up to actually say that it is a dream. And then, you start to grow up and create your own fairytale.

My cousin is overly excited (I mean OVERLY) about going to the prom. Of course, she gets to go with her MU (oh the love of her life) and buys the perfect dress and make-up (even bought at SM just for her foundation). She asked me, "is your prom fun?" I bluntly said, "well it really depends on how you take it." And she gave me this weird grimace. "I think the perfect word to describe my prom is eye-opener." And then she gave me the same disgusted look. I just ignored her and thought to myself that prom really did help me grow up in a lot of ways. One, saying "yes" does not mean "I like you too and we're officially together." Those are two different things. Two, In real life, there are no happy endings. Prom does not mean that your night will end romantic and things will fall the way you want it to be. Three, you be true to yourself. You do not need to look so bongga or act differently when around with people. You don't have to act normal if you don't really feel comfortable. Be honest. Four, you don't have to please anyone or yourself either. You just let the cards fall where they should. Five, you don't propose anything at prom. Six. Prom is just an event, nothing more, nothing less. So don't make it a big deal. Seven, Prom is equal to soiree. Therefore, party. Eight, you have to move on. You don't have to be bitter. Let it fall right off your shoulder. Look straight ahead. Move on. Move on. You are no longer in high school. You gotta walk ahead and wait for the person who will dance with you until your hair turns gray.

So, for now. Wait for the chocolates, the post-it stunt and life-size teddy bears. This night and for the rest of the nights. It's just going to be you and the Prom King. For now, for now.

(I'm sure He's going to be the most handsome dude there ;))