Bare naked

I have learned that honesty is sometimes its own reward,

often the silent partner of peace,

the herald and chief supporter;

restrained only by fear.

Sadly I cannot say I am fearless.

More often I am a coward.

I don’t believe it is bravery that compels me now—I am just tired.

I am too tired to live one more moment with a fake smile on my face

that I do not feel in my heart.

Too tired to swallow another unkind word

without a simple, quiet, loving, “That hurt.”

I have just worked too hard on being honest,

struggled too long to overcome fear,

pressed too deep into my own soul for the truth of who I am,

to now project just an image—a façade of my real self.

I have known dishonesty

and I have been greatly dishonest.

I have covered, schemed and plotted over my sins.

I am now just tired.

I am too tired to play the game or hide.

This is me—honestly me—warts and all, sins and all.

This wall must and is coming down however slowly, however painfully.

Please, all I ask, is that you walk lightly

and watch your step.

You see, it has become apparent,

that an open heart wounds more easily.

And while my ambition is to be more boldly honestly who I am,

I am still only human.