Dilemma (Oh)

Olaño, Karmela Mica N. BA Communication Research from UP Diliman. Transferee.

I'm on my second year in college. But until today, I'm still not sure about my course.

Shocking, right?

I have always wanted to write. I may not be as fluent and as good (yet) like the others. But I think this what I enjoy doing and (maybe) what I do best.

Check.

I grew up in a family that sits on the dinner table and constantly discuss and debate about social and political issues. Well, aside from family business matters.

My grandfather used to work for Manila Times and was a frustrated lawyer.

My mother went to law school for two years. And is a former political activist.

And well yeah, my father - a politician.

At 7, I was forced to read the newspaper by my grandfather so he can treat me to Mcdo.

Since I don't know when, I would see my mother read day and night, bringing home books from work.

My father. He was the debater. And he can talk and talk for hours about trapos and poverty and Cha-cha and so on.

(Random thought: I think I have been trained well. Maybe I'm a little caught up with my own insecurities. Maybe not just a little. Maybe too caught up.)

Born into a family of writers, readers, politicians and activists. Check.

This dream of being a writer? I say it's God-given too.

When I was asking God about my calling, He said that I was going to be the voice of my generation. He gave me a picture of myself holding a huge trumpet, leading thousands of armies of young men and women.

What's even more interesting is that these were youth from different countries. Not just Filipino youth, not just UP, not just youth ministry.

God-given dream? Check.

But I'm not really sure if Communication Research suits me best. I don't really enjoy researching and writing comprehensive papers. Well, sometimes I do. But I'm just not sure with where I am now.

I am currently taking a semi-CommRes subject. And I don't find myself happy and fulfilled. And the professor has nothing to do with it because she is extremely good at what she does.

On the other hand, I kind of enjoy writing and analyzing news. I recently made an investigative report about a congressman in Samar. And well yeah, I got a 1.25. ;) My Journ subject somehow gives me a sense of purpose. I have always been motivated to write, to learn.

But...

I don't know. I guess have to think and pray more about this.

But what I am sure of is that He has good plans for me. And my future is secure in Him.

(Okay, now I need to finish my final paper so I can freely enjoy summer. Ciao!)